Complexus
by theonlystarinthesky
Summary: I'm going to tell you the story, my story. Not one of depression, hurt feelings, or loneliness. One of hope, love, and family. A story about how I fell in love. How I learned to believe in myself.   YAOI, MPREG, SEX, LANGUAGE. MATT X MELLO
1. Prologue

**WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS YAOI AKA BOYXBOY, CURSING, SEX AND MPREG! IF YOU DON'T LIKE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T READ. Thank you :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or anything relating to Death Note. **_**Sigh.**_

**Hello everyone! I've got lots to tell you, but I'll explain it at the end of this chapter. So please enjoy :)**

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><p>I was alone.<p>

I was _always_ alone.

Whatever I did, was for me, and only me. The path my mind had chosen was one of emptiness. One of misunderstanding, and misguidance. Because in my mind, I had no one. Not even myself to fall back on.

If someone were to ask who I was, then I would simply answer with my name, like any normal person would do. The only difference between a normal person and me, is that inside, I had no idea who I was. Sure a name was placed on a piece of paper, but it's _just_ a name. This internal conflict, destroyed me. For as long as I can remember, no matter how hard I tried, happiness could not be found.

Whenever someone would come around, my instinct pushed them away. Because in reality, I couldn't trust anyone. I never learned to trust people. Why should I? The only family that ever "loved" me, abandoned me. That's another thing I never learned, _how to love_. So how am I supposed to do something that I know nothing of? I guess one could say that I love chocolate, but I don't think that's real love. No, real love comes from the heart. Real love is shared with someone that you care about very deeply. Real love, is something I am not capable of achieving.

That's who I was. Basically a mindless life form that was lost. The sad part is.. I never tried to fix it. I just accepted who I was. Day after day, everything was the same. Finding an abandoned house or shack to call home for a night or two. Then waking up to find myself covered in darkness. It was all I ever knew. I only had one suffice home, if you could call it that. It gave me the things I needed, but it created who I am today.

But about a year and a half ago, my life changed completely.

I'm going to tell you the story, _my_ story. Not one of depression, hurt feelings, or loneliness. One of hope, love, and family. A story about how I fell in love. How I learned to believe in myself. How I overcame my depression. How I changed.

_My name is Mello, and this is my story._

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><p><strong>Okay so I know a lot of you are waiting for an update of Jar of Hearts, and right now I'm having some trouble with it. Theres a million directions this next chapter could go, and I'm really just having trouble deciding which way would be best. So once I figure it out, I'll update it. Again, I'm quite sorry for the many delay's with that story, it's quite an emotional thing to write.<strong>

**But i've presented you all with this story in the mean time! It's gonna end up being quite a cute story :) I've got it **_**all **_**planned out, so expect regular updates. There probably won't be more than 3 chapters uploaded by the end of this week cause I'm currently in Australia and the internet isn't so good where i am right now + I'm leaving on thursday (wednesday US time) so i'll be traveling for a bit.**

**I hope you enjoyed this little prologue and I hope you like the next chapter!**

**xoxo**


	2. Return

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any thing relating to Death Note. _sigh._**

**_Suggested listening: 100 Suns by 30 Seconds to Mars_**

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><p>Black shoes ran across the hard surface of the street. Water drops flew into the air as the man hurried through the many puddles that were gathering. Everything was quiet but the sounds of his running and the rain that slammed against various surfaces. The man had no idea what time it was. His only indication was that the sun had not come up yet, making it known that it was still night. Even though he could barely see anything, he knew exactly where he was going.<p>

The blonde haired man finally stopped at a small apartment complex. After easily picking the lock into the main building, he made his way to the bottom floor. In a secluded corner there was a door with large golden numbers. 03. Water was dripping off the slick leather that covered most of the man's body, creating a small puddle where he stood. Feeling no need to knock, he began picking the lock. It took only a few seconds for him to gain access to apartment number 3.

Pushing the door open to where it almost hit the wall, the blonde stepped inside the dark room. There was only small lights coming from the various game systems lying by the tv. The smell of smoke hugged him as he moved in enough to shut the door. He looked around. It was dark but he could still make out the different shapes around him. Despite the small place, everything thing seemed to be neat and organized, which surprised the man. The friend he knew was never this clean. It made him question if the friend was here alone. Taking the risk he moved on down the hallway.

It didn't take him long to reach the end. There was a small alcove on the right that held a bathroom and a door that was opposite. Noticing there was no light coming from the crack underneath, he wondered again what the time was. He pushed the door open just enough for him to look in. The blankets were hanging off the bed and there was only one out of the five pillows actually on the mattress. But no sign of anybody. Pushing the door open all the way, he saw a light coming from under a door to the left. He looked around once more to see if there was anyone in the room. After confirming there wasn't, the blond slowly walked to the door. As he got closer he heard the sound of water running.

He pressed his ear against the door gently. If his friend was with a girl, the last thing he wanted to do was walk in on them. Even though he was notorious for not caring about things such a peoples privacy, he was respectful when it came to this friend. The sound of water could no longer be heard in the room. He moved his ear away from the door, placing one hand on the knob. Almost immediately as he started to turn the knob, the door opened from the other side. The friend that he had been searching for stepped out of the bathroom. The blonde stood where he was and watched as he walked with his head down until he stopped at the black shoes. His head began to lift up, eyeing the person in front of him. The bathroom light had yet to be turned off, which allowed the blonde look into the green eyes of his friend as their eyes met.

"Mello?" The man said.

"It's really fucking easy to get in here you know?" He said with a slight laugh in his voice.

"How did you..." The red haired boy let his voice trail off as he continued to stare at his friend.

"You're not that hard to find Matt. You really should try to be more careful." Mello sighed to himself.

Mello made his way to the bed and sat down, making the last bit of the hanging blanket fall. He returned his eyes back to Matt, who was still standing in the light. He realized his friend was only in underwear. Not boxers, but briefs. It wasn't that he cared, or felt uncomfortable, it was just then that he realized that Matt had a small blush on his cheeks.

"Mello... are you okay?"

The blonde had averted his eyes to the ground. He knew that it had been years since he'd seen his friend. Mello had left without telling him where he was going or when he would be back. Inside he knew that Matt would be upset about it. Honestly he could say the same if Matt would have left unexpectedly. The two friends were close, probably the closet out of Wammy's house. Mello's only friend was now standing in front of him, after he broke into his home, after he left without a word, after 5 years. The blonde began to feel the guilt he had felt before.

"I don't know Matt.. I really don't know." His blue eyes raised up and met green ones.

The red head slowly made his way to the dresser. Pulling on a pair of loose sweat pants, he walked to his friend. Placing on hand on Mello's shoulder, he sat down next to him.

"Mel, you're soaking wet! Where the hell were you?" Matt shot up and pulled his friend with him.

"I ran." He said quietly.

"You ran? What do you mean? Ran from where?" His voice filled with concern.

"I don't know."

Taking Mello's arm Matt dragged him into the bathroom. He slipped off his jacket and placed it over the tub, letting the water drip down.

"C'mon. I'll get you out of these clothes, they're soaking wet and you'll get sick."

Mello faded in and out of what was happening as he drowned in his own thoughts. Why was Matt doing this? Was it just a kind gesture? He didn't think his friend would be anything other than mad at him. Mello just left him. Matt wasn't one to hide his feelings either. Almost all the time he could tell what the red head was thinking by his eyes.

As he came back to reality he realized Matt was taking off the soaked red boxers that were on his friend. The shower had been turned on and steam was filling the small room.

"You get in the shower. Warm up, and get clean. I'll get you some clothes to wear."

After his friend left, Mello took a minute to look at himself in the mirror. His straight blonde hair was wet and sticking to his flawless face. His eyes were overcome with sadness. Who was he? Mello could not answer the question. He was lost.

When he returned to the bedroom Matt was not there. The light had been turned on and there was a pile of clothes lying on the bed. Mello took the plaid boxers and headed back into the bathroom to put them on.

"Mel?"

The blonde opened the door and walked to the rest of the clothes his friend had placed out for him. Matt was standing next to the dresser. He had a small white mug in his hands. Mello finished putting on the sweat pants and the loose tee shirt as Matt walked up to him.

"I made you some hot chocolate." He said as he set the mug carefully on the night stand.

"Thanks." Mello said and sat down on the bed.

The bed was surprisingly comfy. Either that or Mello underestimated how tired he really was. He looked around more at the new surrounding. All the blankets had been neatly placed at the end of the mattress and the pillows returned to a neat state. Matt's room was messier than the previous one, but still neater than he expected it to be. There wasn't much in the room. Other than the bed, there was a small dresser and a bookshelf. His walls were a tan color. Almost like the sand you'd find on the beach. When his eyes passed the curtains, he realized it was still dark and he had no clue what the time was.

"What time is it?" The blonde said as he continued to stare around the room.

"Nearly three in the morning." Matt said as he sat down next to his friend for the second time.

"Why were you up?" Mello asked, averting his gaze to a tired looking red head.

"Bad dream." He mumbled as he fiddled with his fingers in his lap.

"You still get bad dreams?"

"Yeah, sometimes. But more importantly, why are you here? And why are you here in the middle of the night?"

Mello took a moment to piece his answer together. He hadn't thought about what or how he was going to Matt when he wasn't even so sure himself. What would he think of him? Mello was the one who pushed everyone away. He's the one who did this to himself. Despite the conflict going on in his head, he decided that Matt was his best friend, and he trusted him.

"I lost everything." He said bluntly.

"What do you mean?" Matt turned his body to face his friend.

"I lost it. I lost it all. My home, my friends.. even myself. I don't know what to do anymore Matt. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know _anything_. And.. I'm scared." With those last words Mello met emerald eyes that were staring at him.

"Mel... you don't have to be scared. There's nothing to be scared of." Mello lowered his head in response.

"Listen, you can stay here as long as you need okay? You should know that no matter what I'm always here."

"But why? I.. left you. Without saying a single word to you. I thought you'd be pissed at me."

"Seriously?" Matt couldn't help but laugh to himself. "You should know me better than that. I knew you left because of the Kira investigation. I understood, and I knew you'd be okay. You're Mello." A smile came across the freckled face.

"Thank you Matt. Really. I'm not sure what I'd do without you." A smile came to Mello as he responded.

"Well I _do_ know what you're gonna do now. You need to sleep. I can't imagine you took any kind of transportation other than you're feet here. I'm sure you're tired as fuck."

"Yeah I am." He chuckled, covering his mouth slightly with his hand.

Grabbing one of the blankets from the end of the bed, he threw it at the blonde. "Here, It'll get cold."

Mello wrapped the warm blanket around him. "But where will you sleep? I can sleep on the couch, this is your bed after all."

Matt shook his head. "You need this bed more than I do. I'll sleep on the couch. I'll talk to you in the morning Mels."

He made his way across the bedroom. "Don't hesitate to wake me up if you need anything." Matt shouted as he closed the door.

Mello lied in the warm bed as he watched his friend leave. Matt was so nice to him. Even after all that happened. At least he knew he had a friend that cared about his life. But the blonde still wondered if the ginger knew just how he really was.

The smell of chocolate filled his nose. He turned to the nightstand to realize he had forgotten the drink that Matt had made for him. Taking the warm mug in his hands, the steam hugged his cheeks.

After quickly finishing the chocolate drink, he placed the mug back on the table. Curling up in the blanket, the blonde then realized just how tired he was and fell asleep almost immediately.


	3. You're Wrong

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything relating to Death Note. _sigh._**

_**Suggested listening: Heavy in Your Arms - Florence + The Machine **_

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><p>With rays of light coming from the gaps in the curtains, Mello slowly opened his eyes. It took him a minute to remember where he was. A shiver curled up his arm when he sat up. He grabbed the blanket that had slid off in the night and placed it around him. Looking around the room, he found a clock hanging on the wall that he had obviously missed last night. It read just after 11am. He sighed to himself and started to get out of bed. Once he took the blanket off he noticed how cold it was. Mello walked over to the small brown dresser, opening all the drawers in search for a hoodie of some kind. Finally he found a dark red hoodie. Thankfully Matt was the same size as Mello in clothes, making it convenient.<p>

The red head was on the couch playing on of his many gaming systems. The smell of smoke in the room had died down and was replaced with the smell of fresh made breakfast. It wasn't long before Matt realized his friend had come in the room.

"Hey, I made breakfast. It should still be warm but if not just pop it in the microwave." Matt managed to say as he concentrated on his game.

Mello did nothing but nod at the information. He walked over to a small kitchen area behind the couch. Surely enough there was a large plate of eggs, bacon, sausage and a small stack of pancakes waiting for him on the counter. He couldn't help but smile. It had been longer than he can remember since he's had a full meal, let alone a home cooked one. And sure, Matt probably wasn't a master chef but it will probably be one of the best meals he'll have had in years. Grabbing the plate, Mello made his way to the couch to join his friend.

"Good is it?" Matt chuckled as he watched his friend eat rather quickly.

With a mouth full of food all Mello could do was nod. He was certain that his friend didn't understand how much he appreciated it. His chocolate had done a sufficient job of keeping him alive but having a full meal was an amazing feeling. Occasionally Mello would look up at the tv as Matt played his game. He was unsure exactly what he was playing, as Matt had many games that seemed the same.

It had only been about five minutes when Mello had finished his breakfast, leaving the dish empty. The blonde began to get up with the plate in his hands when Matt interrupted him.

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. You just sit down."

Mello did as he was told. Watching as his friend saved his game and turned off the system. He wasn't sure if what he just say was real. Matt never stopped his game for anyone but himself. But surely enough the red head wrapped the controller up and put it neatly on the console. He grabbed the white plate that was in front of Mello and walked into the kitchen. Sitting quietly on the couch, he listened to the sound of water running from what he guessed was the sink. Only a couple seconds later he saw a tiny bubble floating from behind him. Mello turned around to see his friend trying to get soap out of the nearly empty bottle but only receiving bubbles. Turning back around the blonde covered his mouth slightly as he let a smile creep on his face. The smile faded suddenly as Matt spoke.

"I've been thinking about what you said last night."

Mello sat in silence, waiting for what came next. He knew how this was going to end. It always ended the same. Matt would tell him that he needed to get help. He could obviously tell that he was depressed. Matt knew Mello well enough to know if something was seriously wrong. The ginger returned to his seat on the couch.

"Mel, I know it's your life and I know you intend to do everything the way you want to.. but I really think it would be best if you.. you know.. stayed here for a while."

Mello turned his head to catch his friend in his view.

"I don't know what's really going on.. but I can tell its obviously taking a toll on you. Just take it easy here and do what you please. My home is your home, for as long as you need." Matt was fiddling with his fingers again. A habit Mello had noticed whenever he did whenever got worried.

Again not doing anything but simply nodding, Mello returned his gaze to the table. After a few short moments he stood up and started walking back towards the bedroom. As he was shutting the door he could see that Matt was watching him. His face was contorted with concern.

For the next week Mello didn't do much but sleep and eat. Matt would occasionally come in and check on him. Normally just asking if he was okay or if he wanted anything from the store. He barely talked to his friend. Just nods or shakes of the head was how he had communicated. Earning him a reoccurring statement from Matt.

"Tell me if you need anything Mel."

And that was it. Mello had been so overcome by his thoughts that he felt lifeless. Much like he had before he had come to see Matt. He wasn't doing it on purpose. It was nothing close to the ginger's fault that he was like this. If anything he was making him still stay in reality, and he was thankful for that. Matt had also made sure Mello had enough of his chocolate, even though he seemed to eat much less than usual. He wasn't sure why he was how he was. He had a home now, he had more than enough food and water, he had someone that truly cared about him. So why? Matt had caught Mello having tears on his face a number of times when he would come to check on him. Mello was not one to cry, about anything. But the feeling he was so familiar to was tearing him apart. Making him lose control.

After about two weeks, Matt came into the room in the morning like usual.

"Good morning." He said with a smile on his face. A small mug was in his hands, containing tea that he brought with him every morning. Mello would never drink it, but Matt kept bringing it anyway.

He sat down on the floor next to the bed, making sure he was facing the blonde. "I'm taking you out tonight."

Mello locked eyes with his friend. Still containing the emotionless face.

"I think it'll do you good." He said as he pushed some of the blonde hair that had fallen into his friends eyes. "I know you probably don't want to, but you need to get out every once in a while. It's not good for you to stay inside for so long, especially when you're... like this."

The blonde could tell he tried to not come off as offensive. And he didn't. Mello understood, even in the state of mind he was currently in. Despite being in a daze, he had noticed that Matt had become increasingly caring. He couldn't tell if it was because he had barely spoken to him and would be in bed 23 hours of the day. Or if it was something else.

"So you don't have to get up until around four. But you should get a shower before we leave. I'm going to take you to this _amazing_ restaurant in the town and then I'm going to show you something I think you'll really like." A small smile was on the freckled face as Mello looked up again.

Nodding his head Mello spoke for the first time in two weeks. "Okay."

Smiling even more, Matt stood up. "I'll get you clothes out before you get in the shower. You can wear a pair of my jeans and a tee or you can wear your leather stuff. I'll leave it up to you."

Matt left the room and shut the door quietly. Mello closed his eyes and he felt a small grin appearing on his face. He quickly shot his hand up and covered his mouth. That was the first time in weeks he had smiled.

He was awoken by a hand shaking him. "Hey, time to get up."

Mello's eyes fluttered open in confusion. He hadn't realized he fell asleep. Raising his head slightly he saw a certain ginger sitting next to him, smiling brightly as he always seemed to do when he came in the room.

"I've got your clothes out for you. So hop in the shower when you're ready." He moved to get up but Mello's hand grabbed on to his wrist.

Before Matt could say anything Mello sat up and looked in the green eyes that were staring back at him.

"Thank you."

Matt blushed at the blondes words, still not breaking eye contact. "Yeah... I really care about you Mel.. I can't just sit around anymore. I wanna try and help you."

Mello nodded. He released the small wrist he had in his grasp as he stood up. Wobbling slightly, he put his hand on the bed to support himself. Once he was stable enough to walk, he made his way to the bathroom.

He returned to the bedroom after a short shower. Matt was no longer there. Instead the clothes he had mentioned were in his spot. He stared at the contrasting objects. On one side were his black leather apparel and on the other, a pair of dark blue jeans and a cotton shirt. Mello would normally pick his leather over anything, but decided against it tonight. Something was weird about Matt's clothes. It made him feel.. different. It made him feel warm inside.

Not even a minute after he had gotten all the way dressed, Matt came back in the room.

"No leather huh? I guess you would get pretty cold in it." He said scratching his head.

Cold? Why would he get cold?

As if the red head was reading his mind, he responded to the question.

"It's the middle of November so it'll be rather cold, especially since its night."

"Right.."

Had he really not remembered what month it was? It had been cold in the house, but he figured it was always like that. Mello took a moment to look at Matt. He was wearing jeans and a European looking jacket. His orange goggles were on top of his head. It was the first time he had seen them anywhere on his friend since he got here. Which was odd.

"Ready to go?"

Mello simply nodded and walked to him.

"I'll grab you a jacket on our way out."

The cool air made his nose and cheeks stain pink as he walked with his friend. There wasn't much to see as they continued on. Mainly just houses or apartment buildings. It made him feel calm though. Mello had only been in major cities or abandoned towns where ever he went. The change of scenery was nice.

Every now and then he could see Matt watching him. His gaze lasted no more than a couple seconds each time. He wondered what the red head was thinking.

"It's just around the corner here." As Matt spoke little white clouds of smoke came from his mouth.

Matt had been smoking outside since Mello arrived. The blonde didn't mind him smoking near him normally. It wasn't his favorite smell in the world, he even tried multiple times to get him to stop. But right now he had other things on his mind than the health of his friend.

As the two arrived in the town, Mello gazed around. There were small café's with tables and chairs lined up outside. Many of the outside furniture were on a dock like space with a thick rope fence on one side. They continued to walk through the street that separated different food places. It was colder here than it was earlier. Mello figured it was because of the river they were next to. Despite the temperature, there were a lot of people out. Mostly young couples, the blonde noticed. That fact made him wonder if Matt brought him here for a reason.

Matt's hand wrapped around the gap that Mello's arm made as his hand rested comfortably in his pocket. Surprised, he looked over at his friend who was smiling like crazy.

"This way." He said as he tugged on Mello.

The restaurant wasn't fancy, but it wasn't crap looking either. In the three different rooms, there was an array of couches and fireplaces. Along with a bar and a flat screen tv. The whole setting was warm compared to outside.

"Hello, how many in your party tonight?" Mello hadn't realized he had reached the host. He was looking at the few tables and chairs that were set outside.

"Uhm, two."

"Okay great. You can grab any table inside-"

"I want to sit out there." Mello interrupted.

The ginger stared at him for a second. "Mel are you sure? It's freezing out there."

"Yeah..."

"Alright then. I guess we'll sit outside." He said turning back to the confused looking host.

"Right. Here are some menu's. Just go up and order whenever you're ready."

With a small nod, Matt walked with his friend to the outside section. Mello's body was slightly numb from the walk earlier. He barely felt anything as he went to sit down. They chose a seat next to the rope fence. Beneath the seats was a river. It sparkled from the street lights on both sides. There was a bridge that would take you across and it was light up red. It was really something for Mello. Matt had been right, he did like this. But he couldn't shake the feeling that it was all slightly romantic.

"Have you decided what you want? There was obvious discomfort in his voice.

Quickly glancing at the menu, he picked out something small. "I'll just have some cake."

"Cake?" Matt laughed. "You never change do you Mel? Having cake for dinner." Shaking his head, he took both of the menu's and stood up. "I'll be back in a minute okay?"

Mello nodded. He returned to staring at the river. The lights made him able to see his reflection. The blurry image was moving back and forth as the water flowed. He hadn't looked in a mirror since he got to Matts. He didn't realize how _depressed _he looked. No wonder Matt was worried about him.

"It's pretty isn't it?"

He quickly turned around to see his friend standing behind him. "Yeah.. It is."

"After I moved here, I started coming out here every night. There's just something really peaceful about it." He slid back into his seat.

"Aren't you cold Mello?"

"No. I'm okay."

Mello could tell Matt didn't believe him. It wasn't that he was lying. He wasn't cold, he didn't understand what he felt. They sat in silence for a while. Then the table started to vibrate. Mello couldn't help but look over.

"Our food's ready. I'll be right back."

A couple seconds passed until Matt returned with a small tray in his hands. When he set it down he could see the food that they had ordered. Matt had seemed to have chosen to get the same as he did. Chocolate cake.

"Figured there's no harm in a little cake. Plus I heard its really yummy."

The what was probably the hundredth smile crept up on the ginger's face. Matt was happy. At least Mello thought he was. There was something about how well his friend understood him that made him feel so safe. Even while he was like this, he knew nothing would ever hurt him.

It wasn't long before they had both finished. Matt started to get up when he informed the blonde that it had already been paid for. He checked his watch quickly before grabbing Mello's hand.

"I want to show you something really cool."

Pulling him slightly along, Matt lead him to the bridge he had eyed while eating "dinner". It was a stone bridge. Not a very big one, but it wasn't a small one either. Stopping in the middle, Matt let go of Mello's hand.

"Here, I'll help you get on here."

Clearly ignoring the "No climbing or sitting on wall" sign below them, he wrapped his hands around Mello's waist. He lifted him up and made sure he was stable before letting go. After hopping up himself, he turned around. Mello followed.

He could barely comprehend what he saw. It was truly beautiful. There was nothing but shimmering river going in front of them. And the sky, was something else. He had never seen so many stars in one place. Even for being in the town, there were still an extraordinary amount of stars. Each one of them shone brightly, lighting up the sky.

"Wow.." Mello said as he continued to gaze above him.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah, it really is." Mello met his eyes with familiar emerald ones. "Matt.. why did you take me out here?"

Mello could tell Matt was blushing by the way his cheeks turned a darker pink. Breaking eye contact to look at the river in front of them, he took a deep breath.

"Because you deserve this. I can tell you're unhappy.. I'm trying the best I can to make you feel better in anyway possible." Fiddling with his own fingers, he continued."And.. you know.. I've always really cared about you Mel."

That was the sentence he was waiting for. Being depressed messed with your mind, but Mello wasn't stupid. His friend had given obvious signs of showing more than just friendly feelings. The only problem was, Mello didn't know how he felt. The only thing he did know, was that had become increasingly suicidal the last few days, and being on the bridge didn't help.

"Matt. Have you ever just thought if you just were to jump... it would fix everything?"

"Hey! Mello! Don't stand up like that! Come on get down!" He yelled as he himself got down from the wall. Matt's hands frantically tried to pull the blonde down without hurting him.

"Mello! Please come down!"

"I have nothing Matt. Nothing. This would fix everything.." Hey swung his foot out over the water.

"That's not true! And you know that Mello!"

Matt's eyes began to fill with tears. His voice pleading and screaming. The people at the restaurants and others walking around began to look over at the two.

"I don't know anything.."

"That's a lie! You know! I know you do. Mello you're not dumb!"

That was when the blonde turned around to face his friend. There were tears streaming down the stained cheeks. His lips were parted open, each the right shade of pink.

"Mello! Please.."

"You're wrong Matt. There's no one that would care. I have nobody. Not even myself. I am worthless."

"You are not worthless! You're smart, you're funny, you're clever! You're so many things Mello. You're so many things to me. You don't know how much I care about you!"

Matt was now crying hysterically as he continued to scream. "I love you. Not as a friend! I truly love you Mello. I always have, and I always will!"

"I don't know how to love Matt. I would only break your heart... I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.."

With that, Mello started to cry as well. He let his foot dangle back over the water behind him. He stared into the eyes of his friend. He was sure that he cared about Matt too. But he didn't know how to love. He wouldn't know if he loved him. Matt was screaming at him more, but he couldn't hear anything he was saying. Mello leaned back. His other foot slipping off the stone wall. Matt's head leaned over the side. Mouthing what looked like was Mello's name. But it was all too late for that.

He closed his eyes.

Falling was the most calming thing. He knew for once, he was not alone anymore.

He was free.

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><p><strong>Waaa! sad chapter. <strong>

**I know I said this is going to be a really cute story, and it will be! just gotta get through this stuff first. **

**hope you liked it!**

xoxo


	4. Snow

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything related to Death Note, _sigh._**

_**Suggested listening: Alibi - 30 Seconds to Mars**_

* * *

><p>There was a faint beeping around him. He wanted to open his eyes but he couldn't. Slowly more sounds could be heard. What seemed like breathing came from the left of him. So desperately he tried to open his eyes. The beeping became faster as he became scared. Back on his left there began a rustling sound.<p>

'_Hello?" _

Nothing came out of his mouth. He continued to cry out in his mind. The beeping got faster again. Then footsteps started. They were coming close to him.

"_Who's there?" _

A soft hand intertwined with his. That's when the beeping slowed down. The hand that was wrapped around his own made him feel better. And he didn't even know who it was. Another hand swept away some of the hair that had fallen into his eyes.

'_That touch... It's so familiar..' _

The person then sat on the edge of where he was.

"You look better today Mel."

He tried to move. He didn't care what part of him moved, he just wanted to let the person know he was awake. It wasn't long before the beeping went faster again.

"Hey, It's okay."

Finally he felt his hand twitch. Almost like a chain reaction, he slowly was able to open his eyes. Everything was blurry. There was mostly white around him. He looked in front of him as his vision became clear. Sitting next to his legs was a man. He had red hair. There were freckles that covered under his eyes and on his nose. Stunning green eyes looked back at him. The man seemed familiar, but he just couldn't remember who he was.

"Who are you?" The question came out as a whisper.

"Glad to see you're awake Mr. Keehl. We were getting worried you'd never wake up."

The two of them turned to find a small nurse in the doorway.

"I'm going to check a few things to make sure everything is okay then I'll let you two have some time alone." She said with a smile.

The nurse did normal tests. Checking his reflexes, reaction time, and heart. All while the man who he had yet to remember stood from the side and watched. Mello felt bad for not knowing who he was. By his expression on his face, Mello seemed to mean a lot to him.

"Okay I'm going to ask you a few questions."

He nodded in response.

"Do you know your name?"

"Mello." His voice was becoming louder this time when he spoke.

"Good. Do you know your real name?" She now had a clipboard in her hands.

Real name? Mello was his name. At least it's the only one he could remember. "I don't know."

She stopped for a minute to write something down on her clipboard. "Do you know where you are?"

Looking around, he answered it easily. "A hospital."

"And do you know why you're here?"

He looked at himself. Scanning over his body for any obvious sign of why he would be in a hospital. His right arm was in a white cast that was up to his elbow. The blue blanket covered the rest of his body, making it impossible to tell of any other injuries. Given what the nurse had said when she came in, he thought it must have been something more serious than just a broken arm.

"No."

She wrote something else down and placed it back in the container at the bottom of the bed. "Okay Mr. Keehl. That's all for now. The doctor should come within the hour to talk to you." She then turned her attention to the red head standing in the corner. "Do you have any questions Mr. Jeevas?"

"How much do you think he remembers?" He said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Well right now it doesn't look like much, but hopefully he should start to regain his memory during the next couple of days."

The man nodded and walked back up to the bed.

"Please tell me if there are any problems." The small brunette women left quietly.

The soft hand intertwined with his once more. Mello looked at the person in front of him. His eyes were like crystal. The pink lips were closed tightly as if he was trying to hold something back. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Just a small tan thumb caressed the top of his hand. Mello wanted to remember him. He really did.

"What's your name?" The blonde said, hopefully being able to jog his memory.

"Matt."

'_Matt, Matt, Matt...'_ Then something hit him like a truck. Matt was his friend. His best friend. But that's all that he could remember. He didn't remember any thing he had done with him, or anything else. Just that he was his best friend.

"Do you want to know what happened?"

Mello wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. Obviously it had been something serious. The nurse said she was worried he wouldn't wake up. Does that mean he was a sleep for a long time? But he should remember things if he was just asleep.

"Yeah.."

Matt took a deep breath. "You jumped off a bridge Mel." He paused and gripped the blonde's hand a little tighter. "You tried to kill yourself."

Mello started to caress his friends hand with his thumb, the same way he did to him before. Matt looked at him unable to understand what was happening. He remembered something. Something the ginger had said to him.

"You love me." As he said it, his eyes locked with the other pair in front of him. "I remember..."

Before Matt could say anything, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Mello yelled, hoping his voice was loud enough to be heard.

"Good evening Mr. Jeevas, and ah good evening Mr. Keehl. I'm doctor Sanders, it's nice to finally meet you properly."

The blonde nodded in response. Dr. Sanders walked over to the bed the two men where on. He reached down to grab the clipboard the nurse had been using and read it over carefully.

"Alright, I assume Mr. Jeevas has informed you of what happened, am I correct?" He said looking up from the clipboard for a second.

"Yeah, I told him."

He set the clipboard back into the container and sat down on the other corner of the bed. "Now Mello, you are very lucky to be alive. Your fall was quite serious. When you hit the water, you also hit a group of large rocks. As you can see, you broke your arm. Also you cut a rather large bit of your leg that required stitches. There were a few broken ribs on your left side as well. You are extremely lucky not to have any head injuries Mr. Keehl."

The blonde was speechless. He didn't understand. Why did he do this to himself? Matt said he tried to kill himself, but he didn't feel unhappy. Maybe it was because he just couldn't remember anything.

"Mr. Jeevas here is a very brave friend of yours. He jumped in and saved you. He's stayed with you since he brought you here as well."

Mello looked over at his friend. He was messing with his fingers in his lap. The blonde made a mental note to thank him later. But a question was digging at Mello's thoughts.

"How long have I been here?"

"About a month. You've been in a coma since you've come out of surgery the night you got here."

'_So that's why the nurse said that.'_

"But, we'll keep you here for just tonight and I'll come in and check some things in the morning and if everything is well, then you'll be out of here tomorrow." Dr. Sanders said as he stood up. "Glad to see you have someone who really cares about you Mr. Keehl."

Mello tired to sit up some after the doctor left. Unfortunately with his broken arm and being so week, he couldn't manage to get up.

"Here, let me help you."

The ginger released the smaller hand that was locked with his own. He leaned over his friend and wrapped his arms around his back. Mello couldn't help but notice how good Matt smelled. And how warm he was. With what seemed like nothing, Matt was able to lift the blonde up enough to comfortably sit up. When he tried to pull away, Mello gently wrapped his arms around him, trying not to pull out his IV in the process. Matt didn't say anything, instead he tensed up in the others arms. Mello didn't remember if he had feelings for Matt before what happened. But he couldn't deny that somehow being in his friends arms felt right.

"Thank you Matt." He whispered in Matt's ear.

He didn't say anything after that. He lifted his hand up to run his fingers through Mello's hair. The two stayed like that for a bit. Just holding one an other. Mello had his head rested on the gingers shoulder and his arms snug around his back.

"Are you hungry at all?" Matt whispered.

"Actually, yeah I am."

Matt slowly pulled away from his friend. The blonde had to hold back a whimper at the loss.

"What would you like? I can get you anything you want."

Then Mello remembered something else. His love for chocolate.

"Anything chocolate." He said excitedly.

Matt couldn't help but laugh. "Already getting back to your old self are we? Don't worry, I'll go get you the best chocolate I can find."

He didn't have to wait long for the ginger to return with a selection of chocolates. It was quite possible that he had gotten every kind of chocolate there was. Out of the 20 some different bars, Mello chose the dark chocolate, milk chocolate, chocolate with orange, chocolate with carmel and white chocolate.

Matt took off his jacket and placed it on the couch that was placed on the side of the room. He looked over at the various things the red head had been keeping here. There was his many portable game systems, a blanket, pillow and then there was something else. It looked like a picture frame.

"Hey what's that there?" Mello asked, pointing to the object.

He smiled and picked up the frame. He carried it with him over to the bed and sat down by Mello's hip. "It's a picture." Matt turned the frame around.

Mello stared at the picture. It was one of him and Matt. They had their arms around each other's shoulders and they were both smiling brightly. He couldn't help but smile himself. Though he quickly lifted his hand up to hide his mouth.

"You're really cute when you do that." He looked completely shocked after the sentence came out of his mouth. A dark red blush appeared on his cheeks.

The blonde laughed at Matt's reaction. "_You _look really cute when you do _that."_

Matt's face flushed an even darker red, matching his hair.

"Hey, can you tell me some stories of when we were younger?" Mello said after his laughing subsided.

The ginger eagerly nodded his head. For most of the night, the two sat on the bed together and talked. Matt telling him stories of the things they did back at Wammy's house and Mello laughing hysterically at them all. Perhaps the blonde didn't have feelings for Matt before this all happened, but he thought maybe this time would be different.

Mello woke up early the next morning. He was excited to get back home and out of the hospital. His memory still had not all returned but thanks to Matt he was able to recall most of it. When he began to reach up to swipe the stray pieces of blonde hair in his face, he felt something on his arm. On the side of him, curled up in the blanket, was Matt. Mello couldn't hold back the huge grin that appeared on his face. The red head was fast asleep. His mouth was slightly open and he had an arm rested on Mello's stomach.

The sight didn't last long as the sleepy ginger started to wake up. His eyes blinked a few times before looking up at the blonde. With a big yawn, Matt removed his arm from Mello and sat up. He slumped over, legs positioned awkwardly underneath the blanket. The normally neat red hair was slightly messy, making Mello's smile return. After sleepily rubbing his eyes, Matt looked over at the blonde who was sitting quietly observing him.

"Morning Mel."

"Hey."

Mello thought it was a bit weird that Matt acted so calmly. After all, he had just woken up next to his friend. But Mello couldn't really judge, since he had done the same. He still had no recollection of his feeling for the ginger before. Part of him was sad. The other part happy. What if he had a great relationship with Matt? It would hurt him to know that his actions destroyed that. No matter how much he argued with himself, Mello simply could not remember.

"You excited to get home?" Matt asked.

Looking up, Mello noticed that the ginger had left the bed and was brushing his hair.

"Yeah. Wait.. Where is my home?"

The whole time he had been excited to go to his home, But where was home exactly?

"Well you were staying with me.. but I mean, if you want to go somewhere else, I can find some where for you to go." The ginger nervously spat out.

"No, It's okay. I think I'll stay with you. If it's okay I mean.."

"Yeah of course."

For the next few minutes, he watched his friend sit on the couch and play his video game. Matt had refreshed his brain with the ginger's love for his games. By how many systems he had with him it made it obvious.

"I'm gonna go have a smoke. I'll be back in a minute."

Mello nodded. It wasn't long before the doctor had knocked on the door frame. With a smile on his face he made his way to the blonde.

"Morning Mr. Keehl. How are we feeling today?"

"Good." He answered with a small grin.

"Good. I'm going to do a few tests, and hopefully get you out of here soon."

The doctor performed the same tests as the nurse had done the previous day. Only this time he reacted much better to all of them. He also mentioned that he was going to change the bandages on his legs. Mello was surprised to see how injured he was. He hadn't been in any pain since he woke up.

"Now, you probably wont be able to walk for about a week or two due to you being in a coma for a month. But you should have full use of your legs soon."

Matt returned soon after the doctor had finished changing the many bandages on him. A heavy smell of smoke greeted him as the ginger walked past him. The doctor told him he was going to take out the IV's and heart monitors. Not wanting to watch the needles be pulled out of him, Mello turned his attention to Matt. The ginger was picking up his games and neatly setting them in a pile. He grabbed a black duffle bag that was unknown to Mello. When Matt opened it, he could see a shiny pile of cloth lying at the bottom. His curiosity was broken when the doctor began shaking a bottle.

"I'm going to give you some pain killers to take home. You don't feel any pain now because of the medicine we've been giving you. Make sure you only take them if needed."

Giving him a small container of white pills, the doctor took the clipboard out. He wrote down several things as he had done before. Keeping the board under his arm the doctor turned to Matt.

"Just press the nurse button when you're ready to leave. A nurse will come bring a wheelchair and help you out. "

They both nodded simultaneously and were quiet until he left the room. Matt lifted the bag he was eying earlier up on the bed. He reaches his hands in and pulls out the shiny clothes.

"Remember these?"

He had mentioned to the blonde when he showed the various photos of him on Matt's phone, that he never wore anything but his leather. Mello recognized the articles but that was all. He nodded to Matt. The leather clothing was placed at the bottom of the bed. The ginger slowly pulled down the blue blanket off his friend until it was behind his feet. Mello gazed down at his bruised legs. Then an overwhelming warmness came over him. Before he knew it, Mello was being carried bridal style by Matt.

"Where-"

"You don't plan on going out in this hospital gown do you?" He said laughing, carrying him over to the bathroom.

After setting him down carefully on the bench. Matt went back and grabbed the abandoned clothes.

"Tell me if you need help."

Shutting the door, he left Mello alone, staring at the pile of his clothes. Slowly trying to manage his way out of the cotton gown, he was soon naked. A shiver shot up his spine as his pale skin was introduced to the cold air. Mello quickly grabbed his jacket. Getting it on his left arm was easy. Getting on his right however, was not. The material was so tight that it was impossible to slide over his cast. Groaning in protest Mello thought about calling Matt in, but remembered he was still naked. He discarded the jacket and searched for underwear. Unfortunately it seemed as Matt had forgotten to bring him any.

"Matt!" Mello yelled realizing he had no choice but to call him.

"Yeah?" His voice could barely be heard behind the door.

"Can you bring me some underwear?"

"Oh, uhm, well you never used to wear any under those, so I just thought.." Matt went quiet before finishing, obviously getting embarrassed.

"Well do you have any extra with you?"

"Uh yeah. Hold on, I'll bring them in."

Mello held the pants carefully on him, not letting any of his manhood be exposed. Sure Matt had fallen asleep with him last night, and held his hand multiple times, but he wasn't too certain about him seeing the blonde naked. The ginger walked in slowly, trying to not look at him. Before he had a chance to walk out, Mello made a decision.

"Can you help me?"

Matt's face turned bright red. "Uh... y-yeah sure."

He kneeled down in front of Mello then grabbed the briefs. Lifting his legs up, he slipped the material over his ankles. Matt kept his eyes on the blue and white item that he was moving up the blonde's legs. When he got to Mello's knees he looked up and met the blue eyes that were staring at him.

"Uhm, I guess you can do the rest."

"Right.." Mello couldn't help but blush at the embarrassed red head. But then something came to him.

"Did I ever say I love you back?"

Matt froze. He just stood where he was and stared at the door. "No, you didn't." And then he left.

Mello took his time getting dressed, making sure he didn't rip any of the bandages off trying to get on his tight pants. Remembering he didn't have a shirt or anything, he called the ginger back again and received a blue cotton shirt. His outfit looked a bit off when he was fully clothed. But realized he didn't care.

The nurse came and helped him into a wheelchair. Matt grabbed the bag full of his things and walked alone next to the blonde. He was quiet. Not saying nearly as much as he was this morning or last night. Mello felt bad about the question he asked earlier that obviously triggered the silence. The car ride back was short. Only about 15 minutes. Mello looked out the window in awe the whole time. Snow covered the ground in a soft white blanket. It had been his first time seeing snow, or at least he thought it was.

"Can I touch it?" He asked cheerfully as the two stepped out of the car.

Matt laughed as he helped the blonde remain stable. "Of course."

The white substance was cold against his bare fingers. It melted almost immediately after making contact with his warmness. Mello picked up a large chunk of it in his palm. Looking at it questionably, he smiled as an idea came to his head. With in seconds the ball of white fluff was all over the red head. Matt gasped at the unexpected action. But responded quickly with his own ball of snow being thrown back at the giggling blonde. Soon the two were in an all out snowball war in front of the apartment building. Both laughing hysterically.

"Hey, you little sneak!" Matt screamed as Mello hit him on his back when he had turned around.

The red head was now running toward the blonde who was still giggling away. His warm hands wrapped around Mello's waist, lifting him up and twirling him around. He laughed even harder as both him and Matt fell against the cold snow.

"Oops. I don't think you're supposed to get your cast wet." He turned so he was holding himself up on his side facing the blonde.

"Who cares. That was so much fun."

Mello finally got control of his breathing from laughing so hard. He looked over at Matt. His friend's cheeks and nose were bright red from the cold. His eyes were sparkling like little crystals. The ginger hair slightly wet on the ends. That's when Mello realized how cute Matt looked. He couldn't look away as the other began to get up.

"C'mon, let's go have some hot chocolate."

Sticking his arm out, Mello grabbed on to his cold hand. He was easily lifted up to his feet. Matt laced his fingers in between his. He looked over to see if he had any objections or was uncomfortable. But Mello grinned and lifted his free hand up to cover his smile, causing Matt to develop his own. The red head helped him all the way back to the apartment. Never once letting go of his hand.

This was a new start for Mello. A chance to make something more of his life. In only the short period of time from remembering the ginger, he had started to feel how wonderful it was to have him.

And he knew, that this was right.


	5. Chocolate

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything related to Death Note._ Sigh._**

**_Suggest listening: Only Place I Call Home - Every Avenue_**

* * *

><p>Mello waited patiently on the couch. His legs stretched out, hands wrapped around a warm mug. He was now in loose fitting black sweat pants that the ginger let him wear. The room was filled with holiday decorations. A Christmas tree in the corner, decorated with various ornaments, white lights hung above the windows, it all made Mello feel welcomed. Matt had informed him that Christmas was only two days away. The blonde couldn't deny that he was looking forward spending it with him.<p>

"This should keep you warm." Matt was walking toward him with a long sleeved shirt.

Mello gently placed the mug on the table next to him. The solid colored shirt was thrown at him, wrapping around his fingers as he caught it. The red head was now sitting at the end of the couch. He pulled Mello's legs so they rested on his thighs. As the blonde tried to get the shirt over his head, his cast got stuck, making him unable to continue.

"Uh, Matt."

He heard a burst of laughter. There was a lose of warmth as his legs were placed back on the couch. Mello felt hands trying to pull down the shirt. Matt pulled the cast through the sleeve along with his other arm. The soft fabric felt warm against his cold skin. As he pulled the shirt over his head, Mello was surprised to see how close he was.

"Matt.." Mello whispered as he stared into the green eyes.

The gingers lips slowly touched his. It wasn't more than that. He didn't try to move any further with the blonde. His lips tasted like chocolate, making Mello want to taste more of him. But before he could deepen the kiss, Matt pulled away. He moved back only enough to gaze in to his eyes again. Mello's breathing was slightly disturbed. A small blush appeared on the freckled cheeks as he saw how the blonde was reacting. Then it was like something snapped within him.

Their lips clashed, this time it was much fiercer. Matt climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Mello was desperately trying to get more of the ginger. His arms wrapped around Matt's neck. Despite the many smokes he had on the way home, he didn't smell like smoke, or perhaps he was too busy to take notice. The soft lips then moved away and attached themselves to the blonde's neck.

"..nnnh.." The small groan came out of Mello's mouth without warning as he felt the ginger's lips on him.

One of Matt's hands traveled down to the bare stomach beneath him. Slowly moving up along the pale skin. He was gentle. Making sure he didn't cause any pain to the bruised blonde. Mello could tell how much he was trying to hold back.

As the tanned fingers captured a nipple that was slightly covered by the shirt that hadn't been put on properly, the blonde arched his back and let another moan escape. Matt lifted his lips from Mello and let his own moan be heard. Mello pulled him back into a heated kiss. This time, letting the ginger's tongue have access to his mouth. He could taste the slight bit of smoke that was being taken over by the chocolate that had been recently in his mouth. It was addicting.

Then he felt Matt grind against him. Making both of them moan in pleasure. Mello didn't realize how hot he had gotten. Only a couple minutes before, he had been freezing. The thing he did realize however, was his ever growing arousal. It was easily detectable through the loose sweatpants. He blushed at the thought of Matt noticing. But when he rolled his hips against him again, the ginger's own arousal made itself clear. Mello's whole face was pink as the pleasure overcame him. He was meeting his own hips with Matt's as the friction increased, making them both want more. The warm pink lips were attached to his for the third time. Swallowing the moans that came out of their mouths.

Suddenly, Matt pulled away. Stopping the movement between them. He looked into the blonde's eyes. Mello looked back at the flushed face. His lips wet from his own mouth. He knew his own face was contorted in pleasure. Matt felt so good to him. The way he tasted, the way he looked, the way he just _was_.

"We should stop." The ginger said quietly.

Unable to find the words to protest, he simply continued to gaze at him. Matt slowly lifted himself off of the blonde. He ran his hand through the red hair that was slightly wet. Without saying another word, Matt made his way to the bedroom and closed the door. Leaving Mello laying on the couch, alone, aroused, and confused.

Groaning as he pushed his hands up his face, messing up his bangs that fell sloppily back on his forehead. Did he do something wrong? Matt seemed to be enjoying it, and Mello sure didn't want to stop. He didn't understand.

'_Maybe I should go talk to him.'_

The blonde didn't want to disturb him, but he felt it was necessary to at least apologize. Slowly he moved his legs so they were touching the ground. Some pain surged through his body as he pushed himself up, using the arm rest for support. He hoped he would be able to make it to the bedroom on his own. Grabbing the various objects, Mello made his way through the hallway and to the bedroom. The pain increasing with every step.

There was no noise coming from the room when he could finally hear over his own breathing. Twisting the door knob, he peered inside. Matt was sitting on the bed with his hands running back and forth through his hair. Mello pushed the door open enough that he could pull his body in the frame.

"Matt..?"

He looked over at the waiting blonde. His red bangs pushed back, exposing some of his freckled forehead.

"Hey." He said with a sigh, lowering his hand, letting his bangs fall.

"Is it okay if I come.. in..?" Mello was now leaning on the door frame, grinding his teeth to keep back a cry of pain.

"Yeah. Here..." He stood up and walked toward him. "I'll help you."

Matt picked him up bridal style like he had that morning. Mello blushed as he remembered his current "problem" and hoped the ginger wouldn't noticed. He was set down on the bed where his friend was previously sitting. Matt sat down next to him, only inches away.

"I'm sorry." Mello whispered after minutes of silence.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Matt's hand grabbed Mello's, intertwining their fingers. "I guess I'm just scared."

"Why?"

He sighed quietly. "It's just.. I've wanted this for a long time Mel. I've wanted _you_. And now that.. you're here.. I'm afraid I'll do something that'll... make you go away."

Something about his voice made Mello want to cry. His actions almost took him away, not only from Matt, but from everyone. He wasn't going to let that happen again. He was sure about it.

"I won't leave. I promise."

The ginger turned to face him. "Thank you, Mello."

He moved closer to the blonde. Leaning in, their foreheads touched. Mello felt this weird feeling in his stomach. It wasn't nerves, it was something else. Something nice. His hands wrapped around Matt's neck, pulling him into a kiss. The ginger licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Mello granted him it nearly immediately. The delightful taste of him returning.

Matt pulled away from him. Instead of stopping completely, like earlier, he picked the blonde up again. Pain returned to his body. Clenching his fist, he hid in Matt's neck to hide the contorted face he was making. Trying to distract himself, he kissed the ginger's neck. He bit it softly, just enough to create teeth marks on the perfect skin. Earning a low growl from him as he placed Mello back on the bed, this time so his head was on the pillows.

The ginger was soon straddling his hips once more. Mello's hands reached down to the hem of his shirt. Matt got the idea and quickly discarded the material. The blonde took a second to admire the figure above him. He wasn't toned as Mello was, but his flat, smooth stomach was enough to make him moan. Mello also took a quick glance at his pants. He was still in his jeans, but there was a noticeable bulge.

Mello tried to remove his own shirt, but was unsuccessful. There was a small chuckle as Matt pulled off the item himself. Instead of meeting the blonde's lips for another kiss, he leaned down, placing small pecks on his chest, making Mello gasp slightly. He took one of the pink nipples in his mouth, sucking on it gently.

"...ngh.."

He couldn't help but arch up, meeting the ginger's body. Matt stopped to let a moan out as Mello started push his hips up to meet his. Despite the horrible pain the blonde was feeling, he couldn't bring himself to stop. His eyes clenched shut in pleasure when the ginger started grinding down harder and faster.

"ah.. M-Mello.."

Matt's fingers lightly traced circles on his hips. Slowly the digits ran over the top of the sweatpants. With each new circle, he dipped a finger past the elastic. But before he could go any further, the phone rang. The two looked at the cell phone vibrating on the dresser, then back at each other. Mello did a small nod at the ginger, letting him know it was okay to answer it.

Carefully he lifted himself off the blonde, giving him an apologetic look. He didn't hold back the whimper as the warmth left from above him. Mello lifted himself on his elbows and pushed back so his back was supported by the pillows.

"Hello?"

Mello couldn't help but admire the ginger's body. His slim waist, perfect tanned skin, and that _ass_. It looked sexy contained in his blue jeans, and he didn't want to wait to see what it looked like without anything covering it up.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I lost track of time... right I understand, I'll be there soon." Matt slammed the phone shut. "Shit."

"What's up?"

"I have to go into work for a bit. I was supposed to be there at 11..." He mumbled as he picked up his shirt that had been thrown of the floor. "Christmas is nearly here, so I imagine they need all the help they can get."

"Right."

Matt walked over to the blonde that was still flushed. "Do you need me to bring you anything before I leave?"

"Uh, yeah, some water would be great."

With a nod, he left. Mello waited patiently, trying to get his mind off what had happened a few minutes ago. Returning with a large glass of water, he set it down on the night stand, making sure the blonde could reach it from where he was. Matt leaned down and kissed him.

"I'll come home as soon as I can."

After he heard the ginger leave, he sighed to himself. Of course Matt had work, and he imagined that he took off the whole time he had been in the hospital, making it necessary to go. It just couldn't have happened at a worse time.

Mello leaned over to the drawer in the nightstand. He pulled out the small bottle of pills that the doctor had given him. Swallowing the pills was a hassle, they weren't small. After several gulps of water, he was able to get them down. The blonde slid down, making his body flat against the bed. As he cooled down from the previous actions, he became cold. He wrapped himself in the warm blanket that Matt had provided for him. Soon Mello fell asleep.

Pale hands covered the closed eyes as the sun was shinning brightly. Groaning loudly he flipped over in hope of avoiding the rays. Without any luck, he gave up and opened the blue eyes. It took him a minute to remember where he was. But an unwelcome feeling hit him. Desperately reaching for the pain medicine, he nearly fell off the bed. He was able to swallow the pills much quicker than he had before. His eyes widened, wondering what time it was. 10:05am.

'_Fuck.'_

Mello looked over at the other side of the bed, hoping there would be a sleeping red head next to him. Unfortunately all he found was a note.

'_Mel,_

_I have to go into work again today, I shouldn't be that late, 12 at the most. I have to stop at the store on the way home. I'll pick you up some chocolate while I'm there. Hope you're okay getting around by yourself. _

_Call me if you need anything._

_-Matt'_

Groaning again, he let his body flop down on the mattress. Mello thought about staying in bed until the ginger got home. But he didn't want to fall asleep again and miss him, like he had the night before.

Wondering how long it had been since he had gotten a shower, Mello started to get out of bed, trying to avoid any extra pain. He was able to walk better then before, but still had trouble. He took a rather quick bath. Making sure he was clean and making sure he didn't get his cast wet.

It was only 10:30 when he finished. The blonde sat on the bed. He looked around, trying to find a way to kill time until Matt got home. Mello opened the night stand drawer. There were various things in it. A note pad and pens, one of the portable game systems, a phone and a small silver tube. He pulled out the small tube and flipped it over to see the words that were written on it. The blonde's cheeks stained red as he realized what it was. He quickly put it back in the drawer and took the phone out. Mello recognized it as his phone. Opening it up he searched through the contact until he came upon Matt's number.

"Hey Mel." The ginger said happily.

"Hey, I was just wondering when you'd be home."

"I'm actually on my way now. I should be there in like two minutes."

Mello smiled brightly. He couldn't wait until he got back. The blonde wanted to see him again. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to feel those lips that he's become addicted to.

"Okay. Great."

He eagerly put the phone down. Crawling to the end of the bed, he positioned himself so he was sitting up right. Frowning at the shirt he had put on after his bath, he swiftly removed it, almost having no trouble that time. Now only in his boxers, Mello waited patiently for the ginger to return home.

"Hey, I'm home!" The door shut with a small thud. "Mel? Where are you?"

Mello took a deep breath as he heard the footsteps come closer.

"Mello are you-"

Matt paused at the sight of the blonde, a pink blush appearing on his cheeks. Mello did nothing but allow a seductive grin to creep up on his lips. The ginger pounced on him. Capturing his lips in a heated kiss. He put his hands on the slim waist beneath him. Mello allowed himself to be pulled up. Now standing on his feet, he wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, pulling him in closer. The tanned hands slowly made their way past the pale hips. Mello let a small moan out as the ginger's warm hands rested on his ass. With a hard squeeze, Matt broke away from the kiss.

"mm.. I missed you too." With a small peck against the blonde's lips, he backed away. "But we have some things to do. Christmas is tomorrow!"

Even though he wished they could have continued, joy surged through him when he remembered that Christmas was indeed tomorrow. Grabbing his discarded sweat pants, he put them on with the help of Matt.

As they entered the living room, Mello saw a bag of what looked like sweets. His thoughts were proved true as the ginger emptied the bag on the couch. There was bars of chocolate of ever kind, candy canes, gum drops, gingerbread men, everything a little kid would want. He was even more excited when Matt pulled out a container of chocolate chip cookie dough.

The two spent the rest of the day making cookies and putting up more decorations. Matt would sneak up behind the blonde, wrapping his arms around his waist at random times. Just as Mello would sneak a kiss on the neck that he had left teeth marks in. It was a game to them. Trying to see how much noise they could elicit from the other without pushing them over the edge. Mello could tell that his actions were getting to the ginger. He was flushed almost all the time and he would catch his eyes on him whenever he walked. But Mello couldn't deny that he was doing the same.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?"

They both were laying in bed. Matt was playing with the blonde's hand. Pushing his own fingers in the grooves of his.

"Yeah. This will be my first Christmas with someone since I left Wammy's house."

"Me too." The ginger pulled Mello's hand to his lips, placing a small kiss on the smooth skin.

Blushing slightly, the blonde turned over so he was on his side. "I have a surprise for you too."

"Ohh, Mel's got a surprise. Hm. Well it'll have to wait till the morning. I'm tired, and you should go to bed too."

After a small goodnight kiss, the ginger slipped off to sleep. Mello laid quietly in the dark. He was ready to tell him. He was ready to open his heart. With a smile, he too was soon asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So this was basically a filler chapterr, I'm not that happy with it, but it wouldn't flow correctly without this one. Buttt anyways, I hope you enjoy! <strong>

**I should have the next chapter up by tomorrow or the next day!**

xoxo


	6. Christmas

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything related to Death Note._ sigh._**

_**Suggested listening- Bound To You - Christina Aguilera**_

* * *

><p>"Hey. Pstt. Mel."<p>

Rubbing his eyes, the blonde stretched out, sliding his legs out of the blanket by accident. He looked up to see an eager red head smiling at him. Laughing to himself, he pushed up so he was on his elbows. Before Mello had time to get fully awake, he found himself being carried into the living room. Blue eyes sparkled at the site of the room. The Christmas tree was lit up with multicolored lights, making the room shine bright. There was a few neatly wrapped presents underneath the tree, a plate of cookies on the table, and two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Merry Christmas!"

The blonde sat on the couch and simply looked around. He got the weird feeling in his stomach again. He gazed past the window. It was still dark outside.

"What time is it?" Mello said before a yawn overcame him.

"It's around 6." The ginger was now by the tree, grabbing the few presents that rested underneath.

"And you woke me up this early because...?"

"Oh stop complaining and open your presents!"

There were three boxes now in front of him. Each wrapped in a different colored paper. Mello felt bad that he hadn't gotten Matt anything. He deserved all the presents he could get after doing all he did for the blonde. He picked up the biggest box and started unwrapping the blue paper that covered it. Inside was a leather jacket, one almost identical to the one he had.

"It's bigger than the one you have now. I know you normally like it to be skin tight, but you can wear this with your cast."

Mello slipped the warm leather on him. It was much easier than the other jacket. Matt smiled brightly as he saw the blonde with a happy look on his flawless face. He moved to the next box. It was wrapped in shiny red paper. There was a small black box. He opened it slowly, revealing a silver chain necklace.

"I couldn't find one like you used to wear... so I hope this is okay."

He could tell that the ginger was getting nervous. Mello carefully took the necklace out of the small box. Hanging in front of him, he observed how it shimmered from the tree lights. The blonde handed the silver object to Matt. His soft hair intertwined in his fingers as he held it up. Matt soon got the idea. Placing the chain around the front of his neck, the ginger connected it in the back so it fit loosely.

The last box was covered in gold. He ripped off the last of the paper. Inside was a picture frame. It was a picture of himself. Like the one Matt had shown him in the hospital, he was younger, most likely while he was still at Wammy's house. But there was something different about that picture. He was sitting on a bed, in only a black shirt and boxers. In his hands was one of Matt's game systems. He was wearing the orange goggles on his eyes. Almost immediately he remembered when the picture had been taken. It gave him a warm feeling inside, all while reassuring that what he was going to tell Matt was a right choice.

Putting the presents aside, Mello turned to face his friend who was carefully watching him. "Matt, I have to tell you something." The ginger nodded and Mello took a deep breath. " I uhm.. well.. Matt, I... I love you."

The green eyes widened as he took in what the blonde was saying. "No you don't Mel... You just.. you don't remember properly.." He stood up and turned away from him.

In disbelief, Mello stood up as well. " What are you talking about? I remember perfectly!"

"It's been two days! _Two. _Two little days since you even remembered who I _was._ You can't love someone in two days."

Grabbing Matt's hand, he pulled him to face forward. "I know, but this... this is something different. I remember before. I remember the things we did Matt. I remember us kissing each other, out of curiosity. I remember.. us sleeping in bed together. And... yesterday.. those aren't things normal friends do Matt. The feelings... they've always been there.. I just never realized what they were.."

Mello ran his free hand through his blonde hair. The ginger remained silent, taking in what he had just heard. He was nervous enough to admit his feelings, but the silence was making him even more uneasy.

"I don't want you to say it just because I told you that I love you."

"I.. Matt.. you know damn well that I wouldn't say something like that unless it was true.. I didn't even know what love meant until this all happened..."

"Then how do you know that it's really what you feel?"

Mello fell silent. The ginger had a good point. He still wasn't sure that it was exactly love that he felt. There were feelings for him, feeling that he didn't understand. Maybe he _was_ just calling it love because Matt said he loved him. His pale hand dropped to his side.

"Mel..listen, I love you. I really do. And if you.. have feelings for me then I would really like to keep you around.. but I don't want you to say those three words until you know thats exactly what you feel."

Matt had moved to the blonde. One hand was placed gently on Mello's jaw, the emerald eyes staring into his. He felt his heart skip a beat. Mello hadn't noticed that the ginger was only in boxers. A wave of pleasure surged though him as he looked down to admire the body. His cheeks stained pink as he felt his loose sweatpants becoming tighter. As if Matt had sensed his arousal, he pulled him into a heated kiss. Mello granting his pink tongue entry immediately. Soon both pairs of hands were everywhere. Touching anything they could. Matt grabbed the blonde's thighs, he lifted him up, wrapping the legs around his waist. Mello groaned at the small friction the action created. Within seconds, the two were on the bed, Matt pulling off the blonde's pants.

Mello arched his back and let out a gasp as the gingers fingers ghosted over his hardening erection. A smirk spread across his lips. Kissing the bulge lightly, he moved his fingers to the tip of his boxers. Slowly he took off the item, pulling it all the way off, never breaking eye contact with the flushed blonde. Mello shut his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

"..Matt!"

He gasped as the ginger unexpectedly took him in his mouth. Pleasure took over his body and mind. Mello had never been with anyone before. Sure he had experimented on his own, but nothing felt like this. Matt's tongue running up and down, his mouth taking more and more of him. It was overwhelming.

"..ah.. nghh... fuck."

His mouth couldn't find words, only moans came out. He could feel himself getting close as the ginger picked up the pace. Pale fingers shot their way down to the red locks that were sprawled on him. With one strong suck, Matt removed his mouth. He stood up on his knees and observed the figure beneath him. Mello sat up. Giving the ginger a seductive grin, he crawled towards him, making sure he moved his hips as sexy as possible.

When he reached Matt, he moved his fingers to the very noticeable bulge in front of him. Pulling the boxers down, he took the throbbing organ in his hands. After pumping it once or twice he replaced his hand with his warm mouth, causing Matt to throw his head back. Only after a few hard sucks, the ginger lifted Mello's head up to his. Their lips attached to each other.

Mello pulled away, leaning to the ginger's ear. "I want you to _fuck_ me Matt."

With a low growl, Matt began walking on his knees, pushing the blonde back with him. Once he had Mello laying down, three tanned fingers pressed against his swollen lips. The ginger moved so his face was only an inch away.

"_Suck"_

A groan was muffled as the fingers made their way in to the warm mouth. Mello eagerly swirled his tongue around the digits, making sure he covered them well. He saw the look on Matts face. His eyes were dark as he watched the blonde moving his fingers in and out of his mouth. The ginger soon removed them, moving them down to Mello's already spread legs.

"I need you to relax Mel."

Mello clenched his eyes shut as he felt the first digit enter. He really couldn't describe the feeling. It was painful, but pleasurable at the same time. After what he thought was a little experimentation on Matt's part, he felt another finger go in him. This time, he began to fold his fingers up with each scissoring motion. There was a bit more pain as the third one entered. Mello moaned as he felt more and more pleasure out of the gingers actions.

"Ah!" The blonde dug his nails into the smooth skin of Matt's shoulder. His back arched up, making the ginger's fingers go deeper inside of him. He had hit a spot that made him feel incredible.

Obviously not wanting to wait longer, Matt removed his fingers. He lifted Mello's legs around his waist as he positioned himself. The blonde nodded as he looked up at him. Slowly, he pushed himself in to the awaiting warmth. Mello saw green eyes get darker and were hooded by his eye lids. He had a firm grip on the hips that were touching his. Mello could tell he was in pure bliss.

Not wanting to wait any longer himself, he moved his own hips against Matt. "mmm... Matt..."

He grabbed the arm that had strayed away from his hip to rest next to his chest. Mello didn't feel any pain anymore, it was all pleasure. The way Matt moved in and out of him, made him dig his nails into various places on the ginger.

"..ha..ah..Mello.."

Then it was there again. The feeling that was so intense, all he could do is scream. When it was hit another time, he felt his body begin to shake. Mello's vision went white, his mind went blurry. He barely heard his own name being called over his screams. There were a few more sloppy thrusts before Matt collapsed on the sweaty blonde. Matt's breathing was heavy, like his own. The two laid there for a while. Each taking their own time to calm down from the intense feeling they had experienced.

Mello's mind came back to reality. It took him a couple seconds to take in what had happened. "Matt."

"hmm?" His voice vibrated against Mello's chest.

"I need a bath."

Matt laughed softly. "Yeah me too."

The ginger slowly pushed himself off the figure beneath him. Arms pushed themselves under his limp body and he was lifted up. Matt walked the two to the bathroom. As he set down the blonde, one arm reached over and started the bath. They washed each other as they let their bodies soak in the warm water. Mello took the time to reflect. He had slept with his friend, his _best_ friend. His feelings still were confusing. Not sure what they were exactly. But no doubt, some sort of feelings were there for the ginger, and he most certainly wanted to keep it that way.

Mello woke up suddenly with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He recognized the feeling and shot up, making his way to the bathroom. Kneeling down, his head hovered over the toilet as he waited for what was to come. The sounds of his violent wave of nausea echoed in the bathroom. His knuckles turned white as his grip tightened on the toilet seat. Mello sighed in relief when he was done. He slowly stood up, shaking from the event, and flushed the toilet. As he was walking back to the bed, another wave passed over him, causing him to run to the bathroom. He emptied his stomach again. It made him feel weak. When he tried to stand up, he couldn't get stable. Mello decided that he would be better off if he stayed in the bathroom. After a third wave hit him, the sleepy ginger walked in.

"Mello? What's wrong?" He said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Just a little nauseous that's all."

The blonde wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, removing the small bit of puke that had rested there. Matt shook his head and walked over to him.

"This is the third day in a row you've been sick." He flushed the toilet and leaned down to the pale figure. "I think we should go see a doctor."

"I'm fine." Mello scoffed.

"No. C'mon I'm taking you to the hospital."

Mello was soon dressed and walking out to the car with Matt. The bitter January air made him shiver. The ginger had talked him into going when a fourth harsh wave of nausea hit him, leaving him light headed and on the verge of passing out. He had some water and crackers before leaving, trying to settle his stomach for the car ride. By the time they got to the hospital, Mello was feeling stronger.

The atmosphere of the building was unsettling for him. All the images and memories of the time he had been there were coming back to him. Not like they really ever left since it had only been a little over a month since he had left. He waited patiently as Matt talked to one of the nurses that were at the front desk.

"She said you just need to fill this out, and a doctor will call us in a few minutes."

Mello nodded as he took the clipboard in his hands. Filling out the necessary information was tedious. Questions about his medical history, parents, and other things that he really had no idea about. Making things up where needed, he got done rather quickly. The blonde handed the clipboard back to Matt and watched him take it up to the nurse.

They sat in silence. Matt rubbed the back of Mello's hand with his thumb. He could tell that the ginger was nervous. He had been worried about the health of him for the last few days. Almost every morning Mello would be laying on the bathroom floor. It was always the same thing. Part of him was glad his friend took brought him to the hospital. He would be lying if he said it didn't concern him.

"Mr. Keehl?"

His name rung out in the empty hall. The two followed the nurse to a small room.

"How are we today?" She asked as she closed the door.

"I'm alright."

"Good. So tell me what's going on." The tall nurse sat down at a chair across from him.

"Uh well, I've been throwing up in the mornings."

Mello could tell Matt was getting uneasy. His hand was still now. No longer caressing the blonde's. He wondered what was making him sick. Could it be the medicine? Truth was, he didn't know.

"How long has this been happening?"

"3 days." Matt said before he could answer.

"Okay. A doctor will be in to see you shortly."

The blonde hopped on the bed like item that was against the wall. He watched his feet sway back and forth as they dangled in the air. Maybe he just had food poisoning. No, he didn't eat anything that would cause that. A cold? The flu? But he felt fine before and after. It was just the weakening pulses of nausea that made him feel sick. His train of questions was interrupted when the doctor entered.

"Hello there. I'm Dr. Ray. Nice to meet you." He said as he shook both Matt and Mello's hand.

The doctor asked an array of questions. Mello was starting to get impatient. He wanted to know what was wrong with him. When the man finished typing things into his computer he explained what he was going to do.

"By the sound of you're problem, I'm going to do an ultrasound. That should show if there is anything in your stomach that would be a problem. I'll do some blood work as well, to make sure there are no toxins in your system. Also we'll get a new X-ray of your arm there and see if we can get that cast off now."

Mello was first escorted to get blood drawn. The ginger sat by him the whole time. Making sure he was okay. His fingers would run through the soft blonde hair, telling him everything was going to be alright. Mello knew that inside Matt was panicking himself. The blonde was dizzy after they were done. The nurse had given him food and water before after hearing he barely ate or drank that day. But he still felt weak.

The next thing was an ultrasound. Mello was the most worried about that. He was laid down on a bed like piece of furniture. The doctor pulled his shirt up to his ribs, letting the cool air of the room touch his pale skin. A painful shiver coursed through his body as the gel was put on his stomach. Mello carefully watched the doctor monitor the screen.

"Mr. Keehl."

Mello's heart skipped a beat at the tone of his voice. "Yes?" He tried his best to keep his own voice normal sounding.

Dr. Ray turned the monitor to him. He didn't understand what he was seeing.

"What is that?" Matt said, obviously thinking the same as him.

"Well, you are pregnant Mr. Keehl."

He wasn't sure he heard him right. Or it had to be a joke. Either way, he didn't understand. How could he be pregnant? He was a guy. There was no way.

"What are you talking about? I can't be pregnant!" Mello's yell echoed throughout.

"I myself don't understand. This is the first time I've seen anything like this."

"Then how do you know it's not some glitch?"

Taking in what the blonde had said, he had a nurse bring in another machine. Despite the small hope that the machine had been faulty, it was crushed by the same image. The more he looked at it, the more he could see. There, moving with life, was a small figure. Matt sat in silence as he too took it all in. How did it even happen? Then he remembered. Christmas. He had sex with Matt on Christmas. But even then, how could he have gotten pregnant. It was impossible. Or so he thought.

"You're about 6 weeks along."

With that statement it confirmed it. He was pregnant. He was pregnant with Matt's child. Mello looked over at the ginger. By the looks of it, he had realized the same thing. The doctor then showed them the different parts of the baby. The feet, the head, the small heart beat, the hands. He couldn't help but be in awe at such a small thing. He still wasn't sure how it all was even possible, but he strangely liked it.

"Now, you don't have much time to decide on if you would like keep the child or-"

"No. That's not an option." Matt said.

Mello was surprised at the sentence. Matt wanted to keep it. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Abortion was not an option as the ginger had said. He couldn't do it. But he wanted to keep adoption open. For now at least.

The doctor cleaned his stomach off and turned off the machine. He printed out a picture that Matt had asked for. They proceeded to get an X-ray and remove the white cast. The whole time Mello sat in silence. Not sure what to do or what to say.

A lot of it was a blur. Mello finally came back to reality when they were both seated on the living room couch. Matt turned to look at him.

"What are we going to do?"

* * *

><p><strong>Weeeeeee! haha, lame lemon I know, but I didn't want it to take up the whole chapter, even though it totally could have. <strong>

**Hope you enjoy!**

xoxo


	7. News

**I do not own Death Note or anything related to Death Note, _sigh._**

_**Suggested Listening: Therapy by All Time Low**_

* * *

><p>Mello sat quietly on the couch. He didn't know what to do. He could barely understand what was going on. The blonde felt a hand grab his.<p>

"It'll be okay. We can get through this."

"What do you want to do?" Mello said as his eyes were fixed on the ginger.

With a sigh he answered. "I kinda.. wanna keep it... I mean I've always wanted a family.."

The blonde knew that. Matt had always been talking about a family. He was even good with the other, younger kids at the orphanage. And honestly, Mello could see him as a father. Himself as a mother, that was a different story. Despite how unsure he was on the situation, something about the ultrasound images he saw, made him happy.

"I think... I wanna keep it too."

"Woah Mel. I don't want you to make your decision off of mine. You're the one who has to go through with this. But whatever you decide, I'll be with you 100%."

He felt better after the statement from the ginger. Mello wasn't exactly positive on if he wanted or even if he was ready to be a parent but maybe over time he would begin to think differently. Knowing that his friend, or lover, would be there for him made him feel relaxed.

"No.. this is what I want to do. If you're ready to be a father, then I guess I'm ready to be a mother. Just don't make fun of me when I start showing."

Matt laughed and let go of the blonde's hand. "Don't worry, I won't." He snuck a quick kiss to the cold lips that were opposite of him. "Hungry?"

Mello nodded. After throwing up the contents in his stomach that morning, all he had eaten was a pack of crackers. The ginger left to go in the kitchen in search of food. Out of curiosity, Mello reached his hand down to his stomach. He found it hard to believe there would be a baby in there, well a more developed baby than there was at the moment. It made him smile slightly.

Matt returned with a cut up orange. "You gotta eat healthy now. Keep that baby and you alive."

"I'm still eating my fucking chocolate."

"Hah, okay okay." He reached for his box of smokes.

"Uh, no. No more smoking inside. Not good for the baby." Mello said. He grabbed the box out of the ginger's hand along with the smoke he had already put in his mouth. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right."

He slowly ate the cold orange. Making sure he didn't eat too fast and cause another wave of nausea. He watched Matt outside. He watched the transparent smoke leave his pink lips. Then he remembered how wonderful those lips felt. How amazing he tasted. He let out a low growl as the ginger stood up, bending over to put his smoke out. Giving Mello a perfect view of his ass.

The blonde stood up. Walking towards the distracted ginger, he unzipped his jacket and tossed it on the floor. Cold air tickled his arms as Matt opened the glass door to come back in the room. Mello lifted his now cast-free arm gently grabbing the striped shirt that he wore. Unsuccessful in pulling him due to the lack of muscle, Mello groaned.

"Yes?" Matt laughed.

He didn't break eye contact with him as Mello began to take off his shirt. Matt looked at him questionably. He let the material fall next to his jacket. The green eyes still locked on him, Mello walked slowly away from the ginger. He made sure to sway his hips as he continued to the hallway. When he reached the bedroom door, he turned around. His slim body leaned against the door frame. He gave the ginger who had moved to the beginning of the hallway a seductive smirk.

Mello slid backwards on the mattress. Watching as Matt walked toward him, having a small blush on his cheeks. He made sure his legs were spread slightly, letting his hands rest on the insides of his thighs.

"Quick change of character there Mel."

"Shut up." He demanded.

"And put your shirt on. It's freezing." Matt said.

Mello stood up and walked to the ginger. He traced his finger on his chest as he made his way around to his back. Pale fingers reached to the red hair that was in front of his ear. The fingers pulled the soft locks so the rested gently behind his ear.

"You're saying you _don't_ want to play with me Matt_?" _Mello purred as he let his teeth graze the soft flesh of his ear. "Because to me, it seems like you do."

His hand wrapped around the gingers waist. The warm hand traveled down to the new bulge in his jeans. Mello heard a faint gasp from him. A smirk appeared on his lips. Instead of continuing like he was sure the ginger wanted, he stepped away. The leather pants he wore were slowly slipped off. It left him naked in front of the now red faced Matt.

He teasingly turned slightly toward him. Letting only his chest and part of his erection show. With a wink, he turned back around, showing his toned ass. He walked to the bathroom door. The naked body rested on the door frame, like it had done only minutes ago. Matt was watching every move he made.

Mello closed the door only enough to let a sliver of him be seen. He ran his hands up his thighs and let them rest on his hips. Moans escaped his mouth in order to get the gingers attention. It worked. Matt pushed the door open, making it slam against the wall. He grabbed the blonde's hips, pulling him into a bruising kiss. With a moan that was swallowed by the ginger, Mello pushed the door closed.

"No, he's asleep right now...uh huh...yeah plenty of fruits and vegetables...right...he's gained some weight..."

Mello laid in the bed listening to the phone conversation. The ginger was most likely on the phone with the doctor. They had been seeing him monthly for the normal check ups. He informed the two men that he was going to treat the case as a regular pregnancy, only with more risk. It had been two months since the first visit. Mello made sure to stick to the food plan the doctor had prepared him with. While he was not happy about his lack of large amounts of chocolate, the baby was starting to become more important than his addiction.

"...yeah the mood swings are kicking in... uh huhh.. no, no more morning sickness since last time... yeah.. okay.. yes I'll tell him...right.. thank you.. talk to you soon."

Footsteps came closer to the bedroom. Mello yawned and stretched out.

"Good morning." Matt said as he entered the room.

He walked to the edge of the bed. The mattress shook as the ginger slid across the sheets up to where Mello was laying. With a laugh the blonde turned over on his back. His hand reached down to the bump that was his stomach. The bump was a good size, it wouldn't go unnoticed, even with Matt's loose long sleeve shirts covering it. He wondered if it was normal to be that big at only 15 weeks. The next doctors appointment was only an hour away and he was going to make sure everything was okay.

Matt put his hand on the blondes, letting it rest on his stomach. He had been surprisingly tolerant of the intense mood swings the blonde was having. Only yesterday he had a screaming fit at him, leaving him in tears. But Matt still never said any harsh words to him. Something Mello was very appreciative about.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Mm okay. Baby's been kicking most of the night." His hand rubbed up and down on the bump. "And my stomach's sensitive as fuck."

"Really?" Matt repeated the movement on the blonde's stomach.

"Matt, stop. We should get breakfast. I'm starving."

Mello tried to push himself up on his elbows but failed and fell back against the bed. Matt got off the bed and assisted the blonde up to his feet. Surprisingly he hadn't gained much weight. Only about 10 pounds all together. It worried both of them and the doctor that he hasn't been the right weight the whole time. The factor put Mello at risk even more.

The blonde took his time walking to the living room. When he reached the couch, he lowered himself down carefully. Matt brought a bowl of fruit and some granola that he mostly likely prepared while he was on the phone. The fruit was eaten rather quickly as well as the crunchy granola. The ginger sat quietly next to him, his head leaning on the back of the couch.

"Hey Matt.."

"Hm?" He answered, still looking up at the ceiling.

"Do you think it's normal to be this big?"

Lifting his head enough to get the blonde in view he answered. "Uhm.. I don't know. I guess it is."

Mello couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. Sure he had never been pregnant before, but he had seen pregnant women before. And inside he knew that it probably wasn't right to be showing enough that a long sleeved shirt wouldn't cover the bump at such an early stage. He reached down as he felt a flutter. There was defiantly a baby growing in there.

"Okay." The doctor wiped off the ultrasound gel from both Mello's stomach and the machine. "I've got some news for you two."

Mello and Matt looked at each other, then focused their gaze to the doctor.

"You're carrying twins."

The ginger's hand tightened it's grip on the smaller hand intertwined with his own. "Twins?"

"Yes. Unfortunately.. since this is such a high risk pregnancy, the likelihood of both of the babies surviving is very low."

Mello felt his heart drop. Sure he had only just found out that he was not carrying only one baby, but it was devastating news. The risks were extremely high now, he knew that. He also knew that the news of twins would also put his own life more on the line. After getting new pictures and additional information, Matt and Mello made their way back home. The blonde was silent the whole trip, simply keeping one hand on his bump.

"Are you okay Mel?" The ginger said as he shut the front door.

"What if I die?" Mello could feel his emotions getting the best of him. "What If I die because of this?"

"Mello, you're not going to die. It's all going to be okay."

"How do you _know?_ Huh? There's no guarantee. _Lives_ don't have guarantees."

Matt stood across the room from him. His face was contorting with anger. "Stop it! Stop it right now! Mello you are not going to die!"

"But what if..."

"No. Don't do this again... Don't do this to me!" Tears formed in his eyes.

"Don't do this to you?"

"Yes Mello! You don't know how it felt when you were depressed.."

The blonde moved closer to Matt. "How _you_ felt? Do you have any idea how it felt for me? He ran his hand through the blonde hair. "You're being so fucking selfish Matt." The same hand moved down to his bump. "And now I have this to deal with."

"What are you saying? That you don't want to do this anymore?"

Mello felt a fluttering in his stomach. He moved his hand up and down the bump, trying to calm the babies down. "It wasn't my fault..."

"That you got pregnant? Are you really fucking blaming this on me?" He clenched his fist.

"I can't get myself pregnant can I?"

Matt walked farther away, his face red with anger. "I can't believe you! I didn't _want_ to get you pregnant. It just happened!"

"You're not the one who has to walk around with the evidence!"

Tears fell from his eyes. With another run through his hair, Mello grabbed his phone off the table. He put it in his pocket and started walking toward the door.

"Where...where are you going Mel?" Matt said, his voice calmer.

"I'm leaving."

He slammed the door shut behind him. The blonde hurried up the stairs, making sure he was out of the building before Matt caught up to him. Once he was far enough down the street he stopped. Fluttering returned to his stomach as he tried to catch his breath.

"It's okay." He said, rubbing his bump. "Mommy and daddy just got in an argument. It'll be okay."

* * *

><p><strong>gah sorry for the late update! we've been having storms here like every other day and i've lost power a lot and now we're having this supid hurricane! :(. <strong>

**But this chapter is kinda rushed/crappy but oh well XD**

**still hope you enjoy !**

xoxo


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